Last week on Neighbours…

29 Aug

It’s been a fairly uneventful week in Ramsay Street this week.

Chris Pappas, former boyfriend of Summer until he suddenly turned gay after seeing Andrew, the oddly accented, ne’er-do-well son of peg leg ‘avast me hearties’ Paul Robinson, semi-naked in the changing room of the gym, is now a bona fide part-time employee of Lucas, mechanic, part-time mechanics teacher, recovering gambler and lately a bit of a miserable sod who has inherited $700,000 from his recently deceased father who never truly understood him. Chris has similar father/son woes as papa Pappas, ashamed of fathering the only gay in Erinsborough, had clung to the hope his son would continue captaining the basketball team and study at uni. Alas, Chris has turned his back on the bigoted bullies of the basketball team and has declared that he wants to become a fully-fledged mechanic when he leaves school.

Sonya, trainer of guide dogs for the blind and recovering something-or-other, has spent most of the week gazing enthusiastically at the rather sad and pathetic looking veggy beds of the Community Garden, and absolutely no time at all training guide dogs for the blind. She goes back and forth from slightly manic, hat wearing hope to tearful, mopy despair as she attempts to get financial backing to purchase the Community Garden and run a nursery, a lifelong dream she’s had for a week or two now. Lucas, desperate to be rid of his father’s money which seems to taunt him in a ‘naah naah na naah naah you can’t cope with so much money you huge disappointment of a son’ sort of way, offered most of it to Sonya. Her joy was short lived however as one thing led to another which led to Toadie feeling less of a man, Sonya handing the cheque back to the miserable mechanic and Toadie reconsidering the offer of the highly paid job that he had turned down a few weeks ago in order to be true to himself.

Dr Karl and Susan Kennedy appeared to be trying to pick up the pieces of their tattered marriage (cleverly mirrored by the picking up and pasting together of the tattered map of Peru). After some emotional jogging and a tearful and rather moving heart-to-heart, Susan admitted that she had got too involved with holding Jim’s hand in a supportive and absolutely non romantic way. Alas, Susan promptly got more involved as Jim asked her to sign a Medical Power of Attorney after he got lost walking through a housing estate he had built, which led to the smarmy Dr Rhys casting aspersions on Susan’s integrity, Karl asking Jim to distance himself from Susan to spare her the hurt, more emotional jogging, Jim distancing himself from Susan (or possibly just lost in a neighbouring housing estate), Susan wondering why Jim hasn’t been in touch, and lots of looking into the middle distance in a guilty kind of way from Dr K.

Jade, personal fitness instructor to anyone who may further the plot, confided to her once sensible yet increasingly annoying sister, Sonya, that she has feelings for her house mate, Kyle the handyman. After several minutes of new heights of annoyingness Sonya suggested she just tell him how she felt. If only to shut her sister up, Jade agreed, and was about to confess the aforementioned feelings to the aforementioned handyman during a cosy dinner for two when they were interrupted by their new house mate and plot furthering client of Jade, Michelle, a flaky florist with a dolphin statue named Mr Watson, who has moved in to help them pay the rent to the slightly deranged owner of Harold’s Store, Lyn Scully (who left Ramsay Street so that her grandson Charlie could spend time with his banged up mother Steph, accidental killer of the singing trainee paramedic Ringo, in a new mother and child friendly prison). Alas, Kyle is still besotted with the lovely Kate, former dancer/full-time assistant in Harold’s Store and occasional trainee teacher when the script writers remember, which led to lots of jealous scowling from Jade and crushed ‘oh woe is me’ type looks from Kyle after he learnt of Kate’s drunken naked shenanigans with the smarmy doctor Rhys.

Sophie, sister of Kate, and Callum, son of Sonya, decided to join music class so that they can one day form their own rock band. After their first percussion lesson, Callum, disillusioned with the tambourine, has decided to join the cooler kids in woodwork. But Sophie, she got rhythm, and has been inspired to stick with it by the mysterious new student, Noah, a semi-mute wearer of floppy woolly hats and caricaturist, who drums on lockers and sits under trees playing self penned tunes on his guitar. Cool.

Trashy Tash, in an attempt to see just how far she has to rebel before her dad, Michael, the surfing head teacher of Erinsborough High, will show her any kind of fatherly concern/love, played some dancing game on the Wii so loudly that everyone in Ramsay Street could hear it in their detached houses with the doors and windows closed (a feat previously matched by Harold’s tuba) and didn’t do her homework. To add to her self made woes, she’s being called a prawn (don’t ask) and as result believes she is ugly, not helped by a caricature of her drawn by the semi mute guitar strumming wearer of floppy woolly hats, Noah.

There were yet more woolly hats when the oddly accented Andrew met some oddly accented backpackers (allegedly French) who needed somewhere cheap to spend the night. Andrew, needing cash to pay towards a deposit for an apartment to stay in during the schoolies and hard up after his dad refused to give him extra pocket money, offered them The Shed (the place where the menfolk of Ramsay Street hang out to drink beer, escape their women, avoid their feelings and do general manly stuff). Alas the French backpackers would only pay him half of what he wanted as they found a “gret beeeg poisoness spiddair”. Sacre bleu!

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