Déjà vu?

3 Sep

If you missed Neighbours last week then fear not. Everything that happened the week before pretty much happened all over again only with less musical interludes and a 24-type split screen special effect.

Susan found out that Dr ‘jealous of a dying man’ Kennedy had asked Jim the builder (pity they didn’t call him Bob) not to rely on Susan quite so much during the last few weeks of his life. Jim, who had not been wandering around lost in a nearby housing estate again but was taking Karl’s advice too far by avoiding Susan altogether, was persuaded by a guilty Karl to seek the support of his anxious wife again. Jim, not wanting to be a burden, was no longer keen for Susan to sign the Medical Power of Attorney which led to a suspicious Susan, a shifty looking Karl, a penny dropping, a blazing row, a flouncing Susan, a miserable Dr K and a hell of a lot more hand holding in an absolutely non-romantic way by the lake. Mal, long lost son of the Kennedys, though not as long lost as the youngest son Billy, though more long lost than the ever so slightly long lost daughter Libby who popped out to visit her genius son Ben somewhere in Australia and hasn’t been seen since, suggested his dad was being daft and pointed out that Jim would be dead in a few weeks anyway so what was the big deal? Nice.

Toadie is no longer being true to himself and has taken the job with the big shot solicitors in the city so that Sonya (who was actually seen training a guide dog for the blind, albeit reluctantly) can get a large loan in order to bid at the upcoming auction for the Community Garden and fulfil her lifelong dream of a few weeks – growing vegetables. Sonya’s happy but Toadie is less so now that he spends most of the day stuck in traffic jams (which is odd as everyone usually flits back and forth between Ramsay Street and the city in minutes, no problems) and works through piles of legal papers late into the night, rarely seeing his green fingered beloved or his adopted son Callum.

Michelle the flaky florist with a Dolphin Statue named Mr Watson, has spent the week cooking, yacking, accusing Kate of being a bit of a floozy, borrowing dresses and generally annoying Jade the personal trainer and Kyle the handyman. Oh how they miss their former and possibly deceased house mate, Mark Brennan, the good looking-in-an-obvious-sort-of-way detective with OCD. Oh how they long to be rid of Michelle. But alas, she’s started dating the recently wealthy Lucas, mechanic, former motorbike racing champion, exhibiting photographer, recovering gambler, part time teacher of mechanics and now stand-in woodwork teacher, which makes such longing to be rid of more difficult. I say ‘alas’ but I don’t quite understand how this prevents them telling her to pack her bags and clear off. I might have left the room for a minute or two and missed something vital.

The surfing headteacher Michael continues to pretend he doesn’t care what his daughter Tash, the mathletic prawn, does with her life, which is a worry as she’s convinced she has a big nose and has ‘borrowed’ her dad’s credit card to book a little plastic surgery. Kate actually went to school to discuss her teacher training (it was convenient for furthering the Michael/Tash plot). Chris, the only gay in Erinsborough, has yet to tell papa Pappas that he’s decided not to go to uni to study mechanical engineering but is going to do a car mechanics apprenticeship instead. Sophie, still inspired by Noah, the guitar strumming wearer of a floppy woolly hat who now occasionally utters the odd sentence, has moved on from percussion and is now learning to play the guitar (taught by a music teacher named Mollie who has never been seen before) leaving her best friend Callum all bereft. And finally, hop-a-long Paul Robinson has gone off to America to visit his daughter Nicole Kidman/Elle leaving his enterprising and oddly Aussie/Scottish accented son Andrew to turn his “daaah’s hoose” into a “horstel” for a van load of oddly accented backpackers so that he can pay for an apartment during schoolies, much to the dismay of his sensible though increasingly sex obsessed, zombie loving girlfriend, Summer, who was hoping to be have sexual shenanigans in every room while the evil hotelier was away.

Puzzle of the week: How does Jade transport her two giant inflatable gym balls back and forth between Ramsay Street and the grassy bit near Lassiters?


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