Guess who’s coming to dinner?

11 Sep

There were split screens, musical interludes, text messaging effects and slightly weird linking scenes aplenty in Neighbours last week.

Dr Karl Kennedy tried to salvage his marriage by inviting Jim the dying builder to dinner, much to Susan’s surprise and delight. As is so often the case when you ask a relative stranger over for dinner and have a giant and rather beat up map of Peru on the wall, the relative stranger will inevitably ask about the aforementioned giant beat up map of Peru. Susan, feeling it wasn’t right to discuss holiday plans with a dying man, tried to ignore the question completely (rather difficult as Jim has a tendency to talk very loudly as if on a building site). Karl, unable to pretend he was standing a few hundred yards away on a building site and hadn’t heard the question, told Jim they were planning on going to Peru (to be fair he didn’t add ‘so long as you hurry up and snuff it’ though Jim twigged as much). One thing led to another which led to Jim going to the bathroom, hopefully some hand washing, a bickering Susan and Karl, a collapsing Jim (not Bafta winning collapsing acting I’m afraid) and a dash to the hospital. Susan, upon learning that the prognosis didn’t look good (well, less good than it already was), ordered her husband to join the smarmy Dr Rhys and do all that he could to prolong Jim’s pain and suffering.

The once sensible and rather sweet Sonya reached new levels of irritating scarf wearing hysteria when she went to bid at the auction for the Community Garden. She got it, threw up, handed in her notice with the guide dog training association (I’m surprised they knew who she was), realised her monthly lady-type event was late which led to lots of despairing, procrastination, peeing on sticks, positive and negative results, a happy Toadie, a not so happy Sonya, a visit to Erinsborough Hospital, anxious waiting, a negative test result (it was a stomach bug), a disappointed Toadie, a confused and tearful Sonya, a touching mother/sick son moment, a change of heart and a decision to have a baby in a few years time (given the usual success rate of relationships in Ramsay Street I’d say they’re being rather optimistic).

Jade and Kyle caught the aforementioned stomach bug and in a desperate attempt to escape the well meant ministrations of their house mate, the flaky florist Michelle, ended up snuggled up under a duvet together in Jade’s bed. Kyle reminisced about his childhood while Jade gazed adoringly at him. She then reminisced about hers while Kyle dozed off.

The oddly accented backpackers were hastily evicted from the Robinson household when the one legged evil hotelier phoned Andrew to say he was back from his trip to America earlier than planned and was just leaving the airport. It looked like the oddly accented son with the sex obsessed zombie loving girlfriend had got away with his cunning scheme to raise money for schoolies. Alas, Andrew doesn’t know that another van load of oddly accented backpackers turned up while his “daaah” was at home and, worse still, he’s discovered the whisky bottle’s filled with cold tea (don’t ask).

There was a lot of box carrying and more anguished surfing to long musical interludes when Tash traded in part of her dad’s beloved vinyl collection to the mysterious bric-a-brac shop owner next to Grease Monkeys in order to raise money for her nose job (her dad found found out about the credit card). To make matters worse, one of the records was the last thing her mum ever gave Michael, some album by the Badloves which had an old photo of a younger, long haired surfer dude type Michael, his wife and a young Tash tucked away inside it. One thing led to another which led to shouting, tears, an attempt to retrieve the album, sod’s law, boarding school, table-top football, more tears and a confused viewer who thought Tash’s mum had simply abandoned her and Michael years ago and was still alive somewhere. I must pay more attention.

Noah, the guitar strumming wearer of a floppy woollen hat, taught the much younger Sophie how to tune her rubbish school guitar. Oh how she longs for a proper guitar. Oh how she gazes at Noah with wide eyed adoration. Oh does she not remember that gazing with wide eyed adoration at older boys like Noah and Zeke will only lead to heartache and humiliation? Anyway, after a fair bit of moaning about her rubbish guitar an electric guitar and amp mysteriously appeared on Sophie’s doorstep. Were they from the wearer of the floppy woollen hat, as she believes, or were they a gift from the newly wealthy Lucas who shared a $200 bottle of wine at Charlie’s with Michael (in a manly fashion) and decided he preferred beer?

Puzzle of the week: When is Zeke Kinski coming back from his hastily arranged trip to England?

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