Previously on Neighbours…

23 Oct
Neighbours

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Missed Neighbours last week? Well you missed a week of dangerous poultry, downloadable porn, cunning detective work, punch-ups, naked teen shenanigans and ghostly goings-on. You also missed yet more guitar strumming, lucky sods.

Dr Rhys “no you’re not dreaming, I really am this damned sexy” Lawson turned the smarm up a notch or two, chatting up a beautiful babe at Charlies who it turned out had an Erinsborough bashing boyfriend (long story). Kyle the handyman, spoiling for a fight, leapt to Dr Smarm’s defence, challenging the disgruntled boyfriend to a duel. Unwilling to risk his looks / life-saving hands (delete as appropriate), Dr Smarm fled leaving poor Kyle to face the disgruntled boyfriend and his rather large friends alone. A black-eyed Kyle eventually forgave the smooth talking Rhys (God’s gift to women put some work his way, gave him some ointment for his black eye and hired a Polish cleaner to sort out the dishes) but he has yet to forgive the green fingered, chicken fearing Sonya for keeping quiet about Toadie’s involvement in the shopping centre project.

Paul “don’t ever call be dude” Robinson, determined to scupper the proposed new shopping centre project and inspired by the koala loving Kyle and the aforementioned Polish cleaner Lorraine, came up with new scuppering-new-shopping-centre-project-type-plans involving rare Ozzy flora and fauna and historic old newspaper offices (cunning).

Sonya suspected Callum of downloading porn but it turned out he was merely downloading some geeky dragon quest game (though don’t ask him what he keeps under his bed). And a Mrs K-less Dr Karl Kennedy unexpectedly returned home from Anglesea, much to the embarrassment of Summer and the oddly accented Andrew who were having an “early night” in Summer’s bedroom. Fortunately for the horny teens Dr K turned out to be far more laid back about naked teenage shenanigans than he was when his slightly bitter son Malcom was 17.

The oddly accented Andrew Robinson twigged that the guitar strumming wearer of the floppy woolly hat, Noah, has a crush on his cousin Kate, the trainee teacher/assistant in Harold’s/Little Miss Riding Hood impersonator (don’t ask). Despite having been informed of the bleeding obvious (besotted grinning and a self penned song about loving a girl you shouldn’t love) Kate decided to believe Ark Boy’s hastily contrived explanation: that the song Andrew had foooond… I mean found… was actually about Summer, he had absolutely no inappropriate romantic feelings for Kate whatsoever and could she still give him extra one-on-one candlelit history lessons? Keen to put an end to her younger sister’s doomed crush on Noah and spare her future heartache and misery (she’s started seeing him in love-struck-floppy-hat-bouncing-slow-motion), trusting / gullible Kate (delete as appropriate), casually informed Sophie that Ark Boy had fallen for some girl in year 12 which, oddly enough, led to heartache and err… misery.

And finally… The interfering, zombie loving, sex obsessed Summer advised Michael, the surfer dude head teacher, to talk to his daughter Tash about her long deceased mother. Such do-gooding advice did not lead to grateful thanks and the awarding of gold stars, but to threats of expulsion, the accidental pinning up of Serbian beauty queen articles on school history boards, lip-trembling-trouser-wettingly-scary tellings-off by enraged surfer dude head teachers (Summer was quite scared too), and ghostly apparitions of deceased and somewhat damp wives (spooky).

Tash, having learned of the beauty queen article and now keen to know all about her long deceased mother, set about the daunting and seemingly impossible task of tracking down her Serbian grandparents, with a little help from the rest of the Scooby gang. Minutes later, Summer and a hungry, giant-sandwich-scoffing Chris set off to the last known address of Grandpa and Grandma Jovanovic which as luck would have it turned out to be a short drive away. Alas, Grandpa and Grandma Jovanovic had returned to Serbia. But all was not lost as a friendly neighbour gave them the website address for a Serbian aunty Tash never knew she had. Will Tash pluck up the courage to contact her newly discovered aunt and more importantly, will she live within convenient travelling distance from Ramsay Street? What do you think?

Puzzles of the week

1. How come Paul Robinson’s house is suddenly so filthy he needs to hire a cleaner?

2. Can you get Polish polish (the making-things-shiny-type-cleaning-substance, not drunken law enforcement type officers)?

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