Grief induced snogging
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Poor old Kate Ramsay, the former dancing trainee teacher/assistant in Harold’s Store, was led to the Police Station by Toadie to learn the devastating truth: that the only handsome-in-an-obvious-sort-of-way detective with OCD she’d ever loved, Mark Brennan, had snuffed it. Well, shocked disbelief led, as it so often does, to the devastating grief of the barefooted, vision skewing, sister shouting, late night umm-haha-heee-haha-can-you-guess-what-it-is-yet wall painting, time-lapse-capturing, floppy woolly hatted Ark Boy snogging kind… and a wail of utter disbelief from at least one viewer.
Naturally attempts to explain to the besotted, ever-so-slightly creepy, guitar strumming and no longer be-hatted student that it was all a terrible, terrible mistake, didn’t mean a thing and must never be spoken of again all took place in the most private of places, Harold’s and the corridors of Erinsborough High, and had absolutely no effect whatsoever. The smitten and artistic Noah continued to grin besottedly and rather distractingly at his beloved, causing a perturbed Kate to have a minor flashback-inducing melt down during her uni-examiner-assessed history lesson. I dread to think how she’ll react when she remembers the time-lapse camera.
Sick, well endowed mothers and Council corruption
Kyle the handyman suddenly departed to take care of his cosmetically-enhanced-on-the-cheap, malaria suffering mother (don’t ask) leaving his plain speaking, blonde highlighted and never-referred-to-before cousin Dane Canning to take care of the threatened Dial-a-Kyle business. Hearing a rumour that permission for the shopping centre project had come about as a result of council bribery and corruption (surely not), Dane went straight to the evil, shiver-me-timbers, Erinsborough News owning Long Paul Robinson and the ever-so-annoying Summer Hoyland (who is desperate to put together an exciting report as part of her application for some journalist course as she’s like so bored of the History Wall and hasn’t spotted the time-lapse footage of Kate kissing Noah). Unable to substantiate such bribery rumours and fearing suings, the cunning Darth Paul sat back and allowed the do-gooding Zombie loving Hoyland to break the news on Piratenet (and take any flak from the Council) in the hope that it may scupper the whole shopping centre project. Nice.
Tiaras and tantrums
Michael Williams, the increasingly loopy, insomnia suffering, deceased damp wife seeing, therapist visiting, surfer-dude head teacher of Erinsborough High, finally decided to sit Tash down and tell her the truth. “What?” you cry, “he finally revealed the dark and mysterious, father-daughter relationship shattering secret concerning the death of her former beauty queen mother?” Err…no. He told her he’s seeing a therapist. Yes, you’re quite right, she already knew that. But he didn’t know that she knew that. He also didn’t know that she knew all about her aunty, the rather attractive, conveniently-unreliable-when-the-plot-requires-it-Austin-Healey-Sprite-named-Pearl driving, leaver of early birthday presents on doorsteps with cards signed “E xxx”, Serbian hairdresser/beautician, Emilia Jovanovic. He knows now though (he read the card and unwrapped the prezzy – the tiara of the deceased former beauty queen). Unfortunately such knowings did not lead to reunited brother and sister-in-law type hugs (do they ever?) but to stay-away-from-my-daughter-type-threats and hopefully an end to the therapy as it clearly isn’t working.
Minor details which should be casually mentioned by those of you who don’t watch the show but want to blag your way through a conversation with your tad suspicious Neighbours obsessed boss, kids or students:
“And what about Dr K spotting the flirting between the personal trainer and the married Malcolm Kennedy?”
“Barbecue blackmail can never be condoned”
“Susan’s really doing my head in with her husband bashing, wi-fi winging.”
“Wasn’t the flirty mechanic/Serbian beautician chest waxing sweet?”
“Why the hell hasn’t Kate got shot of that rose drawing from Ark Boy?”
“Loved the golf!”