Archive | January, 2012

Another Neighbours recap

29 Jan

Lucas Fitzgerald

Missed Neighbours last week? Then you missed Christmas tree hilarity, disturbing red pants, gay pride, the re-sitting of English exams, drunken-schoolie-tattoo regrets and witty graffiti. You also missed…

Stubborn mechanics and baffling job offers

Lucas Fitzgerald fell victim to sabotage of the alleged-disgruntled-Hamilton-Group-construction-worker kind and endured (as did we all) Toadie’s persistent and somewhat sneaky attempts to convince him to accept his client’s generous offer for the garage. The stubborn mechanic refused to change his mind, further delaying the already considerably delayed shopping centre. But it looks like more trouble may be heading his way as someone appears to be secretly observing the goings-on at Fitzgerald Motors. Meanwhile Toadie, the most inept lawyer in Erinsborough, was offered a permanent job by his petulant boss Peter, despite his failed attempts to convince Lucas to sell up.

Susan as she appeared in her first episode in 1994

Tellings off and trembly lips

Susan informed her randy son Malcolm Kennedy that she knew all about his naked goings-on with Jade the personal trainer and demanded he confess all to his poor wife Catherine when he returns to London. The trembly lipped pig keeper agreed and admitted that his dad had warned him that naked adult shenanigans with someone other than your beloved would always end badly. Having reflected upon the harsh words she’d uttered the other day to her live-in estranged husband regarding philandering, Susan apologised to Dr K and suggested that perhaps the whole hand-holding-in-an-absolutely-non-romantic-way with Jim the builder a few months back had resulted from all the hurt and pent up resentment she’d unknowingly harboured towards him (so basically it was his own damn fault).

Kyle Canning

The continuing saga of the handyman and the personal trainer

A crippled Kyle Canning (don’t ask) returned from tending to his cosmetically enhanced-on-the-cheap mother, much to the secret delight of Jade who has long since tired of the pig keeper. Moved by an early Christmas gift of a picture frame constructed by her beloved handyman’s own fair hands, she agreed to kiss Kyle under some mistletoe and not just any polite mistletoe type kiss, oh no, but one of those oh-how-I-love-you-in-a-why-do-birds-suddenly-appear-everytime-you-are-near? type kisses. Unsurprisingly this did not lead to immediate declarations of love and happily-ever-afters but to confessions of the I’m-afraid-to-love-as-I-was-beaten-up-by-an-ex-and-now-only-have-naked-adult-shenanigans-with-no-strings-attached-type-flings-with-players-and-married-men-including-Malcolm-Kennedy kind and a rather horrified looking Kyle.

Mark Brennan (Neighbours)

And finally…

The less evil of late one legged avast-me-hearties Paul Robinson quizzed the floppy woolly hatted guitar strumming Noah as to what could have possessed his niece to kiss such an oddball as he… no offence. Having learned from a reflective Ark Boy that it had probably been one of those pesky grief induced snogs brought about by learning the terrible news that the only handsome-in-an-obvious-sort-of-way detective with OCD she’d ever loved, Mark Brennan, had snuffed it, Paul immediately went and offered his condolences to the former dancer/disgraced trainee teacher/ridiculed assistant in Harold’s Store, and urged Kate to reveal all to Priya, wife of Councillor Kapoor and stand-in headteacher at Erinsborough High, as she was bound to take pity on her and allow her to continue her teacher training. But Kate would do no such thing, swearing Paul to secrecy.

Kate Ramsay

Well naturally Limpalot and Noah told Priya who told Kate, who, if truth be told, was rather annoyed by all this and told Limpalot that under no circumstances what so ever should Sophie be told. Alas, Noah had already told her younger sister what he’d told Paul and Priya and upon being told this an angry Sophie stormed over to Kate’s and told her that he’d told her and demanded to know why she had not been told. Fed up, Kate has now turned her back on teaching and has decided to selflessly put herself first, to hell with younger siblings and responsibility.

The one where everyone finds out

22 Jan

View of Pin Oak Court, (also known as Ramsay S...

There were failed Jedi mind tricks, revelations, stroppy teens, sofa farce and flashbacks aplenty in Neighbours last week.

A good Jedi make Kate would not

Kate the former dancer/trainee teacher/assistant in Harold’s Store turned to the Force in a desperate bid to be rid of her besotted floppy hatted guitar strumming admirer and told a trembly lipped Noah that she’d never kissed him, he’d imagined the whole thing, and that he was, quite frankly, a bit daft in the head. But alas, believe this not would he. Determined that Kate should admit to himself and to the World that she had indeed kissed him, Noah revealed all to Priya (wife of Councillor Kapoor and stand-in headteacher at Erinsborough High while the surfer-dude Michael Williams recuperates from his drowned-Serbian-beauty-queen-wife-secret-induced perforated stomach ulcer) during the grand unveiling of the already unveiled History Wall.

Kate Ramsay

Well, one thing led to another which led to gasps, denials, suspensions, guilt, retractions, reprieves, how-could-you-have-made-up-such-lies-about-my-sister-you-freak-type shouting, accidental oddly-Scottish/Aussie-accented blurtings, tearful how-could-you-have-kissed-the-only-floppy-hatted-guitar-strumming-boy-I’ve-ever-loved-type shouting, a bit of overacted angry running and the dobbing in of an older sister. Kate finally admitted she’d committed the terrible deed (though has yet to reveal that it was one of those odd grief induced kisses brought about by the death of the only handsome-in-an-obvious-sort-of-way detective with OCD she’d ever loved, Mark Brennan) and was once again suspended from her trainee teacher-type duties while she awaits an official enquiry into the whole sorry saga. Meanwhile her broken hearted unforgiving stroppy younger sister Sophie moved out and is now living with the unsettlingly nice of late evil one legged uncle, Paul Robinson. If he’s got any sense he’ll make her leave her sodding electric bass at her sister’s.

Summer Hoyland

Yet more confessions

The oddly Scottish/Aussie accented Andrew Robinson confessed to his do-gooding, zombie loving girlfriend Summer that her “tame-lepse” film of wet paint drying had included footage of the aforementioned kiss and that he’d deliberately deleted the whole thing in an attempt to save his cousin’s career. Oddly enough Summer took the news rather well. Racked with guilt of the being-caught-cheating-during-an-English-exam-by-your-invalided-head-teacher-who-doesn’t-remember-you-cheating-and-having-the-opportunity-to-resit-the-exam-again kind, Summer confessed all to Chris Pappas and Andrew and is now pondering whether she should (a) get over the feelings of guilt, say nothing to the powers that be and resit the exam or (b) confess all which could end her lifelong dreams of doing some journalist uni course next year.

Susan as she appeared in her first episode in 1994

And finally…

Susan Kennedy, intrepid reporter for the Erinsborough News, began to suspect Karl of having naked adult shenanigans with Jade the personal trainer (don’t ask) which led to flashbacks of the 1998-and-2004-cheating-git-of-a-husband kind and some jealous-wife-type behaviour. What was that? Did Susan finally admit she’d been completely irrational of late, was terribly sorry, she loved him and could they give their marriage another go? Err, no. Just as the completely innocent Dr K dared to hope that such jealousy proved that his wife still loved him in a ransacking-of-the-blue-box kind of way, Susan figured out that their son Malcolm was the one having naked adult shenanigans with the personal trainer (long story with yet another flashback), that Karl had known of their randy son’s exploits for some time and concluded that as a former no-good two-timing excuse of a husband Karl was therefore equally to blame. Harsh.