Archive | May, 2012

If a woman brings you cupcakes be afraid… be very afraid

28 May

Neighbours

Missed Neighbours over the past few weeks? Then you missed the return of Sophie to Erinsborough High, Aiden and Chris’s first blink-or-you’ll-miss-it onscreen kiss, sporty BMW’s, the demise of the Clown Mobile, the breakup of the do-gooding Summer and the oddly Aussie/Scottish accented Andrew, barmaid rivalry, jamming doctors, drumming Councillors, band manager hair, personal trainer birthday celebrations and puppy giving. You also missed…

Revelations, resignations and top notch trembly hand acting

Paul Robinson (Neighbours)

The evil one legged media mogul’s cunning plan to invite half of Erinsborough to Tash’s “I’m-so-happy-my-father-has-left-me” party using a fictitious Facebook account, pretend to phone the police when things got out of hand and publish a report bemoaning how the police’s failure to turn up had resulted in life-threatening sofa-on-the-lawn-toilet-paper-party-anarchy and would never have happened if Councillor Ajay Kapoor hadn’t turned the local police station into a community centre, came undone after his own intrepid reporter, Susan Kennedy, twigged what he had done and, despite a brief bit of pleading and devious blackmail, revealed all. Well, one thing led to another which oddly enough didn’t lead to the swearing of I-will-have-my-revenge-for-such-treachery-type oaths but did lead to the resignation of Paul “Murdoch” Robinson as editor, a promotion for Mrs K, sneaky scarf wearing journalistic spyings, sackings, official warnings, late night typings, missed meditations, IT issues, impending deadlines and the return of Susan’s MS. What was that? You thought the writers had forgotten all about Susan’s MS? Ye of little faith.

Natasha Williams (Neighbours)Looming homelessness and dodgy accounting

Having learned that her surfer-dude dad has decided to sell the house (not the most obvious way to mend father/daughter relations but there you go), Tash, the former Mathlete/uni student/hopeful candidate for the barmaid job at Charlie’s, and her new part-time house mates, Chris and Aiden, attempted to put off potential buyers with the aid of some damp towels, fake viewers and laws of physics defying guitar playing (don’t ask).

Lou Carpenter

Kate, the former dancer/disgraced trainee teacher/part-time assistant in Harold’s/other hopeful candidate for the barmaid job at Charlie’s, discovered that Lou had stolen $8000 from the Dial-a-Kyle business to pay off his cruise. After pleadings from Lou not to reveal all Kate explained away the deficit to her beloved Kyle (she still gazes at him longingly) as inept Carpenter-type-accountancy and has taken over the handyman’s books in order to sneakily help a repentant job seeking Lou pay back the money.

Baby woes

Sonya Mitchell

The tearful green-fingered smock wearing Sonya decided to give up on her dreams of having a baby with her spermalogically challenged beloved following (a) a terrifying premonition that their child would bear a striking resemblance to a wombat or (b) yet another negative pregnancy test (delete as appropriate).

Lucas Fitzgerald

And Vanessa, the woman that Lucas one-night-standed a few weeks ago, returned to give the floppy haired mechanic a box of cupcakes and inform him that he was going to be a dad (presumably some strange Aussie tradition). Naturally Fitzgerald took the news well, took to the open roads on his bike, refused to accept he was the father, accused her of trying to con him out of his vast fortune, accidentally scuppered her chances of being hired by Limpalot as the new Lassiter’s chef (long story) and then took to the open roads on his bike… again. Unimpressed by Lucas’s unchivalrous behaviour the homeless, jobless, fiery and rather attractive Vanessa told the virile mechanic that she wanted nothing more to do with him and then promptly accepted Kate’s invitation to move into Number 24.

Snort of derision of the month: From my wife actually – when the impeccably dressed, perfectly made-up, flawlessly coiffured Vanessa professed to have been living in her car.

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He’s not the Messiah, he’s a very naughty boy

7 May

Neighbours

God’s gift to Erinsborough, the dastardly Dr Lawson, broke his poor wheelchair-bound mother’s heart after she discovered he was too embarrassed to introduce her to his house mates, had got onto the trainee surgeon programme through foul means and was no better than his shallow, self-serving father who’d abandoned them years ago. The spermalogically challenged Toadie vowed to spend more time with his beloved baby-obsessed green-fingered recovering something-or-other Sonya and adopted son Callum. A broke Lou embarked on a short-lived get-rich-quick-health-tonic scam (don’t ask). Kate, the former dancer/disgraced trainee teacher/part-time assistant in Harold’s, gave her less-sullen-of-late sister Sophie and her friend Rani a makeover (I know, thrilling). Limpalot invited half of Erinsborough to Tash’s late night “I’m-so-happy-my-father-abandoned-me” party using a fictitious Facebook account as part of a cunning anti-Councillor-Kapoor-type plan (long story). And Summer Annoyland, having told Andrew she wanted a break, changed her mind only to discover her oddly accented beloved in Tash’s bed pashing some student journalist.

And finally…

These Ramsay Street recaps are going to be a bit less frequent for a while. One thing has led, as it so often does, to another which oddly hasn’t led to exploding veggy vans, evil twins, unhinged mothers and fake spiritualists, but has ultimately led to less time in which to compile these pointless plot summaries. If you’re looking for another Neighbours recap site (Aussie pace) you might want to check out the following: http://recaparama.wordpress.com

Favourite part of blogging so far? Checking out the search terms used to find this site. Given the number of searches for “shrugalero” I’m thinking there’s a market out there for Donna’s famous/infamous (delete as appropriate) fashion garment. To the Google users who found this site by searching for “girl vs horny pig”, “naked Serbian girls”, “naked married men” and “gay naked mechanics”, sorry to disappoint.