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Neighbours: Now and Then

11 Mar

Paul Robinson (Neighbours)Now

Paul learned of Kyle and Callum’s Dial-a-Kyle flyer scam and demanded reimbursement from the handyman and the immediate resignation of the secretly chuffed paperboy (short-lived chuffedness as he’s now been employed by his mum on the nursery).

Emilia the beautician/hairdresser/part time naked model for arty-type photos twigged that the surfer-dude English teacher Michael was still hopelessly besotted with her and after a brief heart-to-heart shared a passionate classroom kiss with her former beloved.

There was yet more handyman/personal trainer angst when Jade informed Kyle that he was a pushover especially where Kate and dying plants were concerned (don’t ask).

Kate Ramsay

Thelma and Louise began their carefree holiday in Port Douglas. Erin enjoyed sun, sand and naked adult shenanigans with a barman, while a frizzy haired Kate (what’s going on there?) embarked on a Mills and Boon type you’re-a-cocky-prat-of-a-tour-guide-who-dropped-my-phone-in-a-swimming-pool-conveniently-leaving-me-completely-cut-off-from-any-younger-sister-strife-at-home-but-despite-all-this-I-desire-you-anyway romance.

Sophie Ramsay

Sophie conned her way into helping her oddly Scottish/Aussie accented cousin film a video for Red Cotton in Erinsborough High and ended up trashing the girls’ loos (a minor how-could-my-sister-leave-without-saying-goodbye-even-though-I-hate-her-but-really-still-love-her-abandonment-issue-type-meltdown). Impressed with the final angry teen video footage Red Cotton hired Andrew as their manager (cue how-could-you-exploit-your-cousin-yet-again-don’t-you-want-to-go-to-uni-outrage from Summer and way-doornt-yooze-ever-sapport-me-woman exasperation from Andrew) while Sophie, after some rather expensive laws-of-physics-defying bass playing (long story) was expelled from school and, thanks to Dr Smug, is to be packed off to an orphanage by Roz the social worker unless Uncle Peg Leg can track Kate down. Thankfully Paul found Kate’s Apple laptop (other brands are available, thought not in Erinsborough) which rather conveniently brought up her travel arrangements when he logged on.

Toadfish Rebecchi

And Sonya and Toadie engaged in a bit of baby-making secretary/lawyer role play at the firm of big shot lawyers and were naturally caught in the act by Toadie’s new boss Charlotte. Keen to make it back into Charlotte’s good books Toadie worked late and joined in with the firm’s policy of fun Friday partying, much to the dismay and annoyance of his ovulating and keen to re-decorate green fingered beloved who, in a fit of frenzied decorating rage, accidentally bashed a hole in the wall.

Max Hoyland

Sky Mangel

Carmella Cammeniti

Katya Kinski

Then (16 January 2007)

Mad Max has escaped the mental hospital, hopped on a bus and vanished into the night leaving behind his bereft family. Four new people moved into Number 30: the former nightclubbing nun’s sister Rosie (a lawyer who works with Toadie), a backpacker named Will (who has more money than he’s letting on), and a couple who are pretending to be engaged – Pepper (PE teacher and daughter of the only policeman in Erinsborough) and Frazer (a professional gambler). All highly intriguing. The odd cousin of Carmella who befriended the pregnant Sky in hospital is still acting a bit deranged. Stingray has turned back to the bottle. Carmella made a desperate play for the plank of wood known as Ned much to the annoyance of Katya, the former glamour model of Tibetan roots, who has claimed Ned as her own. And Harold, having taken an interest in Janelle’s mother, is back on the dating scene (shudder).

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Neighbours Recap Flashback: 8 January 2007

13 Oct

Ok. We travel back in time to the start of 2007…

Carmella the nightclubbing nun has turned her back on God and gone in search of her cousin’s baby which she’d sold ages ago in order to raise money to give to her former boyfriend Connor (the Irish guy who has possibly been murdered by Robert the evil twin son of Paul Robinson) to help him out after he stole money from his own bikini shop and to try and win him back from Harold’s granddaughter Serena who was either a. tragically drowned following a plane crash along with some other unfortunate Ramsay Street residents or b. washed up somewhere suffering from amnesia, like her grandfather Harold Bishop, and living down the road from fellow amnesia sufferer and slightly damp Dee, Toadie’s wife of a few minutes who was given up for dead after Toadie drove off a cliff and plummeted into the sea (never snog your beloved whilst driving).

Unfortunately, it seems her cousin’s baby snuffed it and this has not gone down very well with the cousin who was already in hospital suffering from depression and has now taken an unhealthy interest in Sky’s unborn kid. The aforementioned unborn kid is causing general disharmony amongst the Ramsay Street residents after Sky confessed it wasn’t Dylan’s (the bloke she was going to marry) but his younger brother’s, Stingray. The news wasn’t taken too well. Stingray has been dumped by his girlfriend Rachel Kinski and been kicked out by Janelle Timmins, biological mother of Stingray, Dylan and Janea but not Bree (long story). Without Rachel you can be sure he’ll turn back to the bottle.

Lou is undergoing hypnosis by Dr Karl Kennedy (the only doctor in Erinsborough) in an attempt to figure out why he can’t remember what happened to him in Russia when he went in search of his girlfriend Mishka (wife of a Russian political type prisoner). Brainwashing by the KBG? Alzheimer’s? Or possibly insanity as he’s now falling for Janelle.

Max (who ran over and killed Callum, Paul’s good twin son ,thinking it was Robert, Paul’s evil twin son) is now in a mental health ward after Elle, Paul’s daughter, in a bid to seek revenge for the death of the aforementioned good twin and favourite brother, convinced him that he was mad. Ironically Max had his wife Steph committed when she wouldn’t have treatment for cancer when she was pregnant. There’s a moral there somewhere.

And finally and most disturbingly… Lyn and Paul continue to get closer and it’s all a tad sordid. On the up side Lyn’s dog, Harvey, no longer chews Paul’s wooden leg.