Tag Archives: Kate Ramsay

If a woman brings you cupcakes be afraid… be very afraid

28 May

Neighbours

Missed Neighbours over the past few weeks? Then you missed the return of Sophie to Erinsborough High, Aiden and Chris’s first blink-or-you’ll-miss-it onscreen kiss, sporty BMW’s, the demise of the Clown Mobile, the breakup of the do-gooding Summer and the oddly Aussie/Scottish accented Andrew, barmaid rivalry, jamming doctors, drumming Councillors, band manager hair, personal trainer birthday celebrations and puppy giving. You also missed…

Revelations, resignations and top notch trembly hand acting

Paul Robinson (Neighbours)

The evil one legged media mogul’s cunning plan to invite half of Erinsborough to Tash’s “I’m-so-happy-my-father-has-left-me” party using a fictitious Facebook account, pretend to phone the police when things got out of hand and publish a report bemoaning how the police’s failure to turn up had resulted in life-threatening sofa-on-the-lawn-toilet-paper-party-anarchy and would never have happened if Councillor Ajay Kapoor hadn’t turned the local police station into a community centre, came undone after his own intrepid reporter, Susan Kennedy, twigged what he had done and, despite a brief bit of pleading and devious blackmail, revealed all. Well, one thing led to another which oddly enough didn’t lead to the swearing of I-will-have-my-revenge-for-such-treachery-type oaths but did lead to the resignation of Paul “Murdoch” Robinson as editor, a promotion for Mrs K, sneaky scarf wearing journalistic spyings, sackings, official warnings, late night typings, missed meditations, IT issues, impending deadlines and the return of Susan’s MS. What was that? You thought the writers had forgotten all about Susan’s MS? Ye of little faith.

Natasha Williams (Neighbours)Looming homelessness and dodgy accounting

Having learned that her surfer-dude dad has decided to sell the house (not the most obvious way to mend father/daughter relations but there you go), Tash, the former Mathlete/uni student/hopeful candidate for the barmaid job at Charlie’s, and her new part-time house mates, Chris and Aiden, attempted to put off potential buyers with the aid of some damp towels, fake viewers and laws of physics defying guitar playing (don’t ask).

Lou Carpenter

Kate, the former dancer/disgraced trainee teacher/part-time assistant in Harold’s/other hopeful candidate for the barmaid job at Charlie’s, discovered that Lou had stolen $8000 from the Dial-a-Kyle business to pay off his cruise. After pleadings from Lou not to reveal all Kate explained away the deficit to her beloved Kyle (she still gazes at him longingly) as inept Carpenter-type-accountancy and has taken over the handyman’s books in order to sneakily help a repentant job seeking Lou pay back the money.

Baby woes

Sonya Mitchell

The tearful green-fingered smock wearing Sonya decided to give up on her dreams of having a baby with her spermalogically challenged beloved following (a) a terrifying premonition that their child would bear a striking resemblance to a wombat or (b) yet another negative pregnancy test (delete as appropriate).

Lucas Fitzgerald

And Vanessa, the woman that Lucas one-night-standed a few weeks ago, returned to give the floppy haired mechanic a box of cupcakes and inform him that he was going to be a dad (presumably some strange Aussie tradition). Naturally Fitzgerald took the news well, took to the open roads on his bike, refused to accept he was the father, accused her of trying to con him out of his vast fortune, accidentally scuppered her chances of being hired by Limpalot as the new Lassiter’s chef (long story) and then took to the open roads on his bike… again. Unimpressed by Lucas’s unchivalrous behaviour the homeless, jobless, fiery and rather attractive Vanessa told the virile mechanic that she wanted nothing more to do with him and then promptly accepted Kate’s invitation to move into Number 24.

Snort of derision of the month: From my wife actually – when the impeccably dressed, perfectly made-up, flawlessly coiffured Vanessa professed to have been living in her car.

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Another Neighbours recap

29 Jan

Lucas Fitzgerald

Missed Neighbours last week? Then you missed Christmas tree hilarity, disturbing red pants, gay pride, the re-sitting of English exams, drunken-schoolie-tattoo regrets and witty graffiti. You also missed…

Stubborn mechanics and baffling job offers

Lucas Fitzgerald fell victim to sabotage of the alleged-disgruntled-Hamilton-Group-construction-worker kind and endured (as did we all) Toadie’s persistent and somewhat sneaky attempts to convince him to accept his client’s generous offer for the garage. The stubborn mechanic refused to change his mind, further delaying the already considerably delayed shopping centre. But it looks like more trouble may be heading his way as someone appears to be secretly observing the goings-on at Fitzgerald Motors. Meanwhile Toadie, the most inept lawyer in Erinsborough, was offered a permanent job by his petulant boss Peter, despite his failed attempts to convince Lucas to sell up.

Susan as she appeared in her first episode in 1994

Tellings off and trembly lips

Susan informed her randy son Malcolm Kennedy that she knew all about his naked goings-on with Jade the personal trainer and demanded he confess all to his poor wife Catherine when he returns to London. The trembly lipped pig keeper agreed and admitted that his dad had warned him that naked adult shenanigans with someone other than your beloved would always end badly. Having reflected upon the harsh words she’d uttered the other day to her live-in estranged husband regarding philandering, Susan apologised to Dr K and suggested that perhaps the whole hand-holding-in-an-absolutely-non-romantic-way with Jim the builder a few months back had resulted from all the hurt and pent up resentment she’d unknowingly harboured towards him (so basically it was his own damn fault).

Kyle Canning

The continuing saga of the handyman and the personal trainer

A crippled Kyle Canning (don’t ask) returned from tending to his cosmetically enhanced-on-the-cheap mother, much to the secret delight of Jade who has long since tired of the pig keeper. Moved by an early Christmas gift of a picture frame constructed by her beloved handyman’s own fair hands, she agreed to kiss Kyle under some mistletoe and not just any polite mistletoe type kiss, oh no, but one of those oh-how-I-love-you-in-a-why-do-birds-suddenly-appear-everytime-you-are-near? type kisses. Unsurprisingly this did not lead to immediate declarations of love and happily-ever-afters but to confessions of the I’m-afraid-to-love-as-I-was-beaten-up-by-an-ex-and-now-only-have-naked-adult-shenanigans-with-no-strings-attached-type-flings-with-players-and-married-men-including-Malcolm-Kennedy kind and a rather horrified looking Kyle.

Mark Brennan (Neighbours)

And finally…

The less evil of late one legged avast-me-hearties Paul Robinson quizzed the floppy woolly hatted guitar strumming Noah as to what could have possessed his niece to kiss such an oddball as he… no offence. Having learned from a reflective Ark Boy that it had probably been one of those pesky grief induced snogs brought about by learning the terrible news that the only handsome-in-an-obvious-sort-of-way detective with OCD she’d ever loved, Mark Brennan, had snuffed it, Paul immediately went and offered his condolences to the former dancer/disgraced trainee teacher/ridiculed assistant in Harold’s Store, and urged Kate to reveal all to Priya, wife of Councillor Kapoor and stand-in headteacher at Erinsborough High, as she was bound to take pity on her and allow her to continue her teacher training. But Kate would do no such thing, swearing Paul to secrecy.

Kate Ramsay

Well naturally Limpalot and Noah told Priya who told Kate, who, if truth be told, was rather annoyed by all this and told Limpalot that under no circumstances what so ever should Sophie be told. Alas, Noah had already told her younger sister what he’d told Paul and Priya and upon being told this an angry Sophie stormed over to Kate’s and told her that he’d told her and demanded to know why she had not been told. Fed up, Kate has now turned her back on teaching and has decided to selflessly put herself first, to hell with younger siblings and responsibility.

The one where everyone finds out

22 Jan

View of Pin Oak Court, (also known as Ramsay S...

There were failed Jedi mind tricks, revelations, stroppy teens, sofa farce and flashbacks aplenty in Neighbours last week.

A good Jedi make Kate would not

Kate the former dancer/trainee teacher/assistant in Harold’s Store turned to the Force in a desperate bid to be rid of her besotted floppy hatted guitar strumming admirer and told a trembly lipped Noah that she’d never kissed him, he’d imagined the whole thing, and that he was, quite frankly, a bit daft in the head. But alas, believe this not would he. Determined that Kate should admit to himself and to the World that she had indeed kissed him, Noah revealed all to Priya (wife of Councillor Kapoor and stand-in headteacher at Erinsborough High while the surfer-dude Michael Williams recuperates from his drowned-Serbian-beauty-queen-wife-secret-induced perforated stomach ulcer) during the grand unveiling of the already unveiled History Wall.

Kate Ramsay

Well, one thing led to another which led to gasps, denials, suspensions, guilt, retractions, reprieves, how-could-you-have-made-up-such-lies-about-my-sister-you-freak-type shouting, accidental oddly-Scottish/Aussie-accented blurtings, tearful how-could-you-have-kissed-the-only-floppy-hatted-guitar-strumming-boy-I’ve-ever-loved-type shouting, a bit of overacted angry running and the dobbing in of an older sister. Kate finally admitted she’d committed the terrible deed (though has yet to reveal that it was one of those odd grief induced kisses brought about by the death of the only handsome-in-an-obvious-sort-of-way detective with OCD she’d ever loved, Mark Brennan) and was once again suspended from her trainee teacher-type duties while she awaits an official enquiry into the whole sorry saga. Meanwhile her broken hearted unforgiving stroppy younger sister Sophie moved out and is now living with the unsettlingly nice of late evil one legged uncle, Paul Robinson. If he’s got any sense he’ll make her leave her sodding electric bass at her sister’s.

Summer Hoyland

Yet more confessions

The oddly Scottish/Aussie accented Andrew Robinson confessed to his do-gooding, zombie loving girlfriend Summer that her “tame-lepse” film of wet paint drying had included footage of the aforementioned kiss and that he’d deliberately deleted the whole thing in an attempt to save his cousin’s career. Oddly enough Summer took the news rather well. Racked with guilt of the being-caught-cheating-during-an-English-exam-by-your-invalided-head-teacher-who-doesn’t-remember-you-cheating-and-having-the-opportunity-to-resit-the-exam-again kind, Summer confessed all to Chris Pappas and Andrew and is now pondering whether she should (a) get over the feelings of guilt, say nothing to the powers that be and resit the exam or (b) confess all which could end her lifelong dreams of doing some journalist uni course next year.

Susan as she appeared in her first episode in 1994

And finally…

Susan Kennedy, intrepid reporter for the Erinsborough News, began to suspect Karl of having naked adult shenanigans with Jade the personal trainer (don’t ask) which led to flashbacks of the 1998-and-2004-cheating-git-of-a-husband kind and some jealous-wife-type behaviour. What was that? Did Susan finally admit she’d been completely irrational of late, was terribly sorry, she loved him and could they give their marriage another go? Err, no. Just as the completely innocent Dr K dared to hope that such jealousy proved that his wife still loved him in a ransacking-of-the-blue-box kind of way, Susan figured out that their son Malcolm was the one having naked adult shenanigans with the personal trainer (long story with yet another flashback), that Karl had known of their randy son’s exploits for some time and concluded that as a former no-good two-timing excuse of a husband Karl was therefore equally to blame. Harsh.

Previously on Neighbours…

4 Dec

Radio station protests

Having managed to get PirateNet shut down by Erinsborough Council with her broadcastings of alleged dodgy shopping centre deals (not helped by the devious reporting of the evil and cunning Sir Limpalot) the zombie loving, do-gooding Summer Hoyland offered the council an ultimatum: allow PirateNet to broadcast again or she and her fellow year 12 classmates would miss their English exam. The hard-ass council couldn’t have cared less (me neither) and Summer, having been abandoned by her more sensible classmates and her oddly Aussie/Scottish accented boyfriend Andrew, finally admitted defeat and ambled forlornly to the exam with but minutes to spare.

The worst 18th birthday ever?

Despite having been advised by the loopy, damp dead wife seeing, therapist visiting, pill popping surfer-dude head teacher Michael to stay away from his daughter, the rather attractive beautician/hairdresser Emilia Jovanovic turned up during the middle of Tash’s 18th birthday celebrations, having earlier been wooed by the romantic and smooth chested mechanic Lucas in the back of his van (long story). A reluctant Michael eventually agreed to allow Emilia to stay and all was going surprisingly swimmingly until Tash received a copy of her mum’s death certificate on her swanky new i-phone and discovered that swimming wasn’t one of her mother’s strong points. Turned out the Serbian former beauty queen had drowned trying to save Tash (very sad).

What was that? You’re glad that’s all over? They can finally move on with their lives and forge a stronger father/daughter bond that will last a lifetime? Err… probably not as Michael later met Emilia and told her that Tash must never know the full and dreadful truth about what happened that awful day. What was it? Well judging from a brief moment of supportive hand holding in a non-romantic way that could hint at past hand holding in a romantic way (not an easy thing to convey) the surfer-dude head and the rather attractive beautician/hairdresser may have once been more than just brother and sister-in-law. Then again it could have been just badly acted supportive hand holding in a non-romantic way and mean absolutely nothing.

Waxed chests, body lotion and major misunderstandings

Romance continued to blossom between Lucas and Emilia despite an attempt by Michael to convince him that she couldn’t be trusted. Concerned for her sensitive skinned beloved’s recently waxed chest Emilia brought over a gift wrapped bottle of soothing body lotion. Well, one thing led to another which led, surprisingly, to a line or two for Lou without a Sid James impression, Kate thinking the lotion was from Ark Boy, indignant marching in Little Red Riding Hood outfits to school (don’t ask), the putting of the gift wrapped lotion in Noah’s guitar case, the witnessing of such actions by a once more be-hatted Noah, interpretations of such body lotion giving as a declaration of love and a whole new level of besotted grinning (with a bit of creepy lurking in the kitchen of Harold’s after closing time thrown in for good measure).

Didn’t Kate explain to him about the lotion?” you ask. She did. She also told him she felt nothing, the kiss had been a terrible, terrible mistake, didn’t mean a thing and would he please sod off as nothing was ever going to happen… pretty much everything she’d told him before. “And?” Bit of a communication breakdown I’m afraid. “How so?” Well, he heard something along the lines of “Noah, I love you, this all feels so, so right and when you finish school in a few weeks we shall engage in naked adult/teenage shenanigans together… oh and bring the lotion”. “Oh dear.” Quite. Alas, just as she was about to try and explain things to him again Sophie knocked on the door of Harold’s and asked to be let in. “She’s returned from music camp?” She has, with a new hairdo. “So the damned guitar strumming will resume again?” I suspect so.

And finally…

Minor details for non-watchers to casually mention when blagging their way through a conversation with their tad suspicious Neighbours obsessed boss, colleagues, kids or students:

Cute rat.

Does Chris ever stop eating?

I’d have pelted Callum with the eggs if he’d asked.

The Personal Trainer and the Pig Keeper

27 Nov

Once upon a time a smarmy Doctor Rhys Lawson invited some work colleagues, his house mates and a few neighbours round to a barbecue party thrown in honour of his general wonderfulness. A time of great merriment was had by all but a married, naked-adult-shenaniganly frustrated pig keeper named Malcolm Kennedy and a feisty personal trainer named Jade.

The pig keeper, having travelled far in a noble quest to save the marriage of his beloved parents, had been parted from his wife, the fair Catherine of England, for many a long month and had begun to lust after the feisty personal trainer. Yet the personal trainer, who had ’til then playfully encouraged such lustings, did now reject the horny pig keeper, choosing the companionship of the gay, Spice Girl loving nurse named Aiden instead.

For the heart of the personal trainer did belong to a handyman named Kyle, a handyman with whom she had had secret knowings in the Biblical sense with absolutely no strings attached, a handyman who had later professed to her feelings of love, a handyman whom she had spurned for she did have like major personal issues, a handyman who had departed Ramsay Street to mop the feverish brow of his buxom malaria suffering mother.

Now the dastardly Doctor Rhys “Freud” Lawson, knowing of the personal trainer’s secret love for the absent handyman, did smugly suggest that the spurning of the man she did truly love resulted from a fear of intimacy and abandonment. Alas, such smug suggestions did not lead to the smiting of the smarmy doctor and the uniting of the handyman and the personal trainer in mutual, heartwarming besottedness but to illicit late night naked adult shenanigans between the horny pig keeper and the confused personal trainer.

Oh how the personal trainer did secretly regret her actions. Oh, how the grinning horny pig keeper did not. Oh when wouldst the feisty personal trainer ever listen to her heart and profess her love for the simple handyman and live happily ever after? Oh dear reader, t’will be nigh on threescore and ten years yet.

Noah and the Wail

20 Nov

Grief induced snogging

Pin Oak Court, Vermont South, the filming loca...

Image via Wikipedia

Poor old Kate Ramsay, the former dancing trainee teacher/assistant in Harold’s Store, was led to the Police Station by Toadie to learn the devastating truth: that the only handsome-in-an-obvious-sort-of-way detective with OCD she’d ever loved, Mark Brennan, had snuffed it. Well, shocked disbelief led, as it so often does, to the devastating grief of the barefooted, vision skewing, sister shouting, late night umm-haha-heee-haha-can-you-guess-what-it-is-yet wall painting, time-lapse-capturing, floppy woolly hatted Ark Boy snogging kind… and a wail of utter disbelief from at least one viewer.

Naturally attempts to explain to the besotted, ever-so-slightly creepy, guitar strumming and no longer be-hatted student that it was all a terrible, terrible mistake, didn’t mean a thing and must never be spoken of again all took place in the most private of places, Harold’s and the corridors of Erinsborough High, and had absolutely no effect whatsoever. The smitten and artistic Noah continued to grin besottedly and rather distractingly at his beloved, causing a perturbed Kate to have a minor flashback-inducing melt down during her uni-examiner-assessed history lesson. I dread to think how she’ll react when she remembers the time-lapse camera.

Sick, well endowed mothers and Council corruption

Kyle the handyman suddenly departed to take care of his cosmetically-enhanced-on-the-cheap, malaria suffering mother (don’t ask) leaving his plain speaking, blonde highlighted and never-referred-to-before cousin Dane Canning to take care of the threatened Dial-a-Kyle business. Hearing a rumour that permission for the shopping centre project had come about as a result of council bribery and corruption (surely not), Dane went straight to the evil, shiver-me-timbers, Erinsborough News owning Long Paul Robinson and the ever-so-annoying Summer Hoyland (who is desperate to put together an exciting report as part of her application for some journalist course as she’s like so bored of the History Wall and hasn’t spotted the time-lapse footage of Kate kissing Noah). Unable to substantiate such bribery rumours and fearing suings, the cunning Darth Paul sat back and allowed the do-gooding Zombie loving Hoyland to break the news on Piratenet (and take any flak from the Council) in the hope that it may scupper the whole shopping centre project. Nice.

Tiaras and tantrums

Michael Williams, the increasingly loopy, insomnia suffering, deceased damp wife seeing, therapist visiting, surfer-dude head teacher of Erinsborough High, finally decided to sit Tash down and tell her the truth. “What?” you cry, “he finally revealed the dark and mysterious, father-daughter relationship shattering secret concerning the death of her former beauty queen mother?” Err…no. He told her he’s seeing a therapist. Yes, you’re quite right, she already knew that. But he didn’t know that she knew that. He also didn’t know that she knew all about her aunty, the rather attractive, conveniently-unreliable-when-the-plot-requires-it-Austin-Healey-Sprite-named-Pearl driving, leaver of early birthday presents on doorsteps with cards signed “E xxx”, Serbian hairdresser/beautician, Emilia Jovanovic. He knows now though (he read the card and unwrapped the prezzy – the tiara of the deceased former beauty queen). Unfortunately such knowings did not lead to reunited brother and sister-in-law type hugs (do they ever?) but to stay-away-from-my-daughter-type-threats and hopefully an end to the therapy as it clearly isn’t working.

And finally…

Minor details which should be casually mentioned by those of you who don’t watch the show but want to blag your way through a conversation with your tad suspicious Neighbours obsessed boss, kids or students:

“And what about Dr K spotting the flirting between the personal trainer and the married Malcolm Kennedy?”

“Barbecue blackmail can never be condoned”

“Susan’s really doing my head in with her husband bashing, wi-fi winging.”

“Wasn’t the flirty mechanic/Serbian beautician chest waxing sweet?”

“Why the hell hasn’t Kate got shot of that rose drawing from Ark Boy?”

“Loved the golf!”

Last week on Neighbours…

13 Nov
Kate Ramsay

Image via Wikipedia

Missed Neighbours last week? Then you missed a new fady-scene-transition-type effect and slow motion tree planting. You also missed…

Forbidden flirting

Mal Kennedy and Jade the personal trainer continued to exchange longing looks and engaged in a bit of flirty football playing while a spurned Kyle the handyman continued to mope.

Reckless revising

Andrew, Robinson, the oddly Aussie/Scottish accented son of Darth Paul, advised mood food expert Chris Pappas to revise for his exams in order to keep his “orptions orpen” (the pie scoffing Chris had decided to concentrate on fixing cars rather than study in the belief that failing his exams would scupper Pappa Pappas’s plans to pack him off to uni).

A heartbroken hubby

Susan and Karl invited Toadie and Sonya over for a roast dinner to break the devastating news that they had decided to separate (again) but reassured them it was all very amicable (Susan still regards Karl as her bestest friend in the whole wide world). Alas, a crushed and heartbroken Dr K, fighting back the tears, later told his deluded wife that he couldn’t bear to live in the same street as her, let alone be her friend.

The continuing saga of the student-trainee teacher crush

Andrew Robinson once more warned his cousin, the former dancing trainee teacher and assistant in Harold’s Store Kate Ramsay, that the guitar strumming floppy woolly hatted Noah was hopelessly besotted with her. The perceptive-as-ever Kate dismissed such claims as ludicrous and then smiled innocently at Ark Boy as he serenaded her with a newly penned tune about his love for a former dancing, trainee teacher and assistant in Harold’s named Kate.

Dark surfer-dude secrets

Tash was whisked off to Charlie’s by her Serbian hairdressing aunty, Emilia Jovanovic, part way through a mock exam (long story) and discovered… brace yourselves… she twiddles her hair like her mum. “What?” you cry, “was that it?” Well no, to be fair she did ask Emilia how her mum had died. And what did her rather attractive Serbian hairdressing aunty tell her? Err… that she should talk to her dad. Rather than quizzing Michael, her increasingly crazy surfer-dude head teacher father (he’s still having visions of his damp and deceased former beauty queen wife and has now started seeing a therapist – a real one, not imaginary), Tash has decided to apply for her mum’s death certificate when she turns 18 in a few weeks time.

Deceased detectives and overly hysterical horticulturists

And finally… Kate decided it was time to sell the motorbike of her former love, Mark Brennan the handsome-in-an-obvious-sort-of-way detective with OCD, who was driven off into the night many months ago by a dodgy Scottish detective as part of a police witness protection programme to live who knows where as who knows who doing who knows what. Such a simple decision would have been fine had it not been for the interference of Toadie and his overemotional mac wearing green fingered beloved Sonya who have known for some time now that Brennan had snuffed it (allegedly). One thing led to another which led to the solemn secret planting of a tree in memory of the deceased detective, an inquisitive Callum, the hysterical blurting of dead detective secrets, a devastated Callum, the return of the dodgy Scottish detective, a self righteous-in-a-you-want-to-give-him-a-good-slap-kind-of-way lawyer, and a decision to end all the misery inducing secrecy by leading the blissfully ignorant and happy Kate to the Police Station to learn the awful misery inducing truth.

Puzzle of the week

How come Toadie and Sonya hadn’t already learned of Karl and Susan’s separation when Summer, Mal, Kate, Paul and Andrew have known for a week or two?

Subtlest plot signposting of the week

Given the number of times a certain time-lapse camera Summer rigged up to film the painting of the History Wall has been ever-so-subtly mentioned of late (what’s that?… a camera… a camera?… yes a camera… do we have to turn it off?… no, it’s filming all the time… all the time?… yes, all the time) I think it’s safe to assume it’ll play some pivotal role in the future.