Tag Archives: Natasha Williams

If a woman brings you cupcakes be afraid… be very afraid

28 May

Neighbours

Missed Neighbours over the past few weeks? Then you missed the return of Sophie to Erinsborough High, Aiden and Chris’s first blink-or-you’ll-miss-it onscreen kiss, sporty BMW’s, the demise of the Clown Mobile, the breakup of the do-gooding Summer and the oddly Aussie/Scottish accented Andrew, barmaid rivalry, jamming doctors, drumming Councillors, band manager hair, personal trainer birthday celebrations and puppy giving. You also missed…

Revelations, resignations and top notch trembly hand acting

Paul Robinson (Neighbours)

The evil one legged media mogul’s cunning plan to invite half of Erinsborough to Tash’s “I’m-so-happy-my-father-has-left-me” party using a fictitious Facebook account, pretend to phone the police when things got out of hand and publish a report bemoaning how the police’s failure to turn up had resulted in life-threatening sofa-on-the-lawn-toilet-paper-party-anarchy and would never have happened if Councillor Ajay Kapoor hadn’t turned the local police station into a community centre, came undone after his own intrepid reporter, Susan Kennedy, twigged what he had done and, despite a brief bit of pleading and devious blackmail, revealed all. Well, one thing led to another which oddly enough didn’t lead to the swearing of I-will-have-my-revenge-for-such-treachery-type oaths but did lead to the resignation of Paul “Murdoch” Robinson as editor, a promotion for Mrs K, sneaky scarf wearing journalistic spyings, sackings, official warnings, late night typings, missed meditations, IT issues, impending deadlines and the return of Susan’s MS. What was that? You thought the writers had forgotten all about Susan’s MS? Ye of little faith.

Natasha Williams (Neighbours)Looming homelessness and dodgy accounting

Having learned that her surfer-dude dad has decided to sell the house (not the most obvious way to mend father/daughter relations but there you go), Tash, the former Mathlete/uni student/hopeful candidate for the barmaid job at Charlie’s, and her new part-time house mates, Chris and Aiden, attempted to put off potential buyers with the aid of some damp towels, fake viewers and laws of physics defying guitar playing (don’t ask).

Lou Carpenter

Kate, the former dancer/disgraced trainee teacher/part-time assistant in Harold’s/other hopeful candidate for the barmaid job at Charlie’s, discovered that Lou had stolen $8000 from the Dial-a-Kyle business to pay off his cruise. After pleadings from Lou not to reveal all Kate explained away the deficit to her beloved Kyle (she still gazes at him longingly) as inept Carpenter-type-accountancy and has taken over the handyman’s books in order to sneakily help a repentant job seeking Lou pay back the money.

Baby woes

Sonya Mitchell

The tearful green-fingered smock wearing Sonya decided to give up on her dreams of having a baby with her spermalogically challenged beloved following (a) a terrifying premonition that their child would bear a striking resemblance to a wombat or (b) yet another negative pregnancy test (delete as appropriate).

Lucas Fitzgerald

And Vanessa, the woman that Lucas one-night-standed a few weeks ago, returned to give the floppy haired mechanic a box of cupcakes and inform him that he was going to be a dad (presumably some strange Aussie tradition). Naturally Fitzgerald took the news well, took to the open roads on his bike, refused to accept he was the father, accused her of trying to con him out of his vast fortune, accidentally scuppered her chances of being hired by Limpalot as the new Lassiter’s chef (long story) and then took to the open roads on his bike… again. Unimpressed by Lucas’s unchivalrous behaviour the homeless, jobless, fiery and rather attractive Vanessa told the virile mechanic that she wanted nothing more to do with him and then promptly accepted Kate’s invitation to move into Number 24.

Snort of derision of the month: From my wife actually – when the impeccably dressed, perfectly made-up, flawlessly coiffured Vanessa professed to have been living in her car.

Previously on Neighbours…

29 Apr

Missed Neighbours over the past few weeks? Then you missed dodgy kitchen tile dealing, recycled emotional motor bike riding angst, stand-in lawyering of the Councillor Kapoor variety, toe-curlingly embarrassing oh-for-the-love-of-God-stop “Free As A River” funeral duetting, spaghetti bolognese farce, fake fun run injuries, and a singing Sophie and her damned guitar strumming. You also missed…

Jade Mitchell

Sperm promoting relaxation techniques, the besting of a dastardly doctor and aimless frolicking

The spermalogically challenged Toadie sneakily took on extra work at the firm of big shot city lawyers after finding it more relaxing than spending time with Sonya and Callum in their newly renovated home, much to the secret dismay of his green-fingered beloved. Dr Smarmy’s attempts to use his evil superpowers of psychology and good looks to lure Jade into his bed backfired when the personal trainer twigged his cunning plan and belted him in the stomach. And Kate continued to do pretty much bugger all other than gaze at Kyle in secret adoration whilst frolicking about in her new outfits. What was that? Does she still intend to steal him away from Jade? Who knows.

Karl Kennedy

Musical mutiny, earache and jealous dumping

Andrew Robinson reluctantly agreed to Red Cotton’s demand for more money after they threatened to pull out of the gig their skint oddly Aussie/Scottish accented manager had arranged for them at Charlie’s. Summer Annoyland demanded to know why Andrew hadn’t shared his latest business woes with her and upon discovering he wanted to keep their working and private lives separate demanded to know what they’d talk about in the evenings. And head surgeon Alice the Goon dumped Karl after learning (a) his estranged wife had spent the day helping the distraught doctor deal with the death of a close friend he hadn’t seen or spoken to in years and (b) Susan would always play a significant role in Dr K’s life especially now they’d spilt and the scriptwriters were creating endless opportunities for the pair to have will-they-won’t-they-get-it-on-again-moments.

Michael Williams (Neighbours)

And finally…

Tash finally discovered the shockingly sordid truth about the day her Serbian beauty queen mother Helena drowned all those years ago. Hmm? No really, she did! Keen to rid herself of feelings of guilt the rather attractive Serbian beautician/hairdresser/model for arty naked photos/white witch Emilia decided to engage in wickeny rituals of the burning-confessional-“It’s my fault Helena died”-notes-on-the-barbecue kind. But alas, cruel fate intervened when, unbeknown to Emilia, a sneaky breeze whisked one such note away only to be discovered by Tash (what were the odds?). Demanding to know what the note meant Michael finally confessed all.

Natasha Williams (Neighbours)

Well shocking revelations naturally led to tearful “you both make me sick” shoutings, some distraught driving, daughterly revenge of the setting-light-to-the-Sandman kind (briefly mistaken for wronged mechanicerly revenge of the setting-light-to-the-Sandman kind but ultimately explained away to the police as stupidity of the accidental-setting-light-to-the-Sandman-after-teacher/beautician-romantic-candle-lit-wooing kind), movings out, fatherly pleadings for forgiveness and icy “I have no father” rejections. “Gosh.” Quite. Anyway, Emilia decided to flee to Serbia convinced her presence was making things worse and Michael, having packed all his worldly belongings into just the one bag, decided to join her in order to give his daughter the time and space she needs to forgive him / enjoy guilt free naked adult relations with his beloved and spare himself any future Tashtrums (delete as appropriate).

Last week on Neighbours…

5 Feb

Neighbours

Ticket to ride

Kyle the handyman took the news of Jade’s naked-adult-shenanigans-with-no-strings-attached with the now departed Mal Kennedy rather badly (I know, shocking). Despite tearfully confessing to her beloved that she loved him, had loved him for months and had only rejected his declarations of love and slept with the pig keeper in a desperate attempt to get over such feelings, an unmoved Kyle told the personal trainer that he could never ever forgive her. Faced with such spurnings and keen to avoid further earache of the hysterically-judgemental-smock-wearing-sisterly kind, Jade fled to the city to catch a bus heading to yet another city unaware that her beloved handyman had, upon further reflection, decided to forgive her after all and was in hot pursuit. Oh the edge of the seat will-they/won’t-they-Christmas-carol-filled minutes of drama that followed. Oh the heart warming joyous uniting of the handyman and the personal trainer in mutual besottedness. Oh thank God that storyline is finally over.

Karl Kennedy

Caught between goodbye and I love you

A crushed and tearful Karl Kennedy was reluctantly forced to accept that his wife no longer loved him in a ransacking-of-the-blue-box-kind-of-way after one of those trapped-in-a-storage-container-heart-to-hearts (long story). Susan, keen to put some considerable distance between herself and her heartbroken hubby and begin a new Dr K-less carefree chapter in her life has now decided to pack up her bags and… move in with Toadie.

Chris Pappas

Help!

Chris “Freckles” Pappas was bashed over the head with a spanner by the mysterious individual who had been secretly observing the goings-on at Fitzgerald Motors. Well, one thing led to another which led to hospital, gay Spice Girl loving nurse-type ministrations, ill-advised dischargings, red herrings, concerned Greek fathers, CCTV footage, lucky coincidences, accusations of the hiring-of-thugs-by-dodgy-city-lawyers-to-persuade-mechanics-to-sell-up-and-allow-the-Shopping-Centre-to-proceed kind, shocking impending-life-in-peril-type x-ray results and some rather ropey broken-rib-punctures-lung-putting-life-in-peril-type acting.

Michael Williams (Neighbours)

And finally…

The recuperating surfer-dude head teacher Michael Williams, his less troublesome of late daughter Tash and the rather attractive hairdresser/beautician/sister-in-law/aunty Emilia drove to the beach where the former Serbian beauty queen wife/mother/sister had drowned whilst trying to save the life of Tash all those years ago. Keen for some alone time to reflect on drowned mothers and stare forlornly into the middle distance, Tash went for a stroll leaving a guilty Michael and Emilia to ponder whether Helena would have still been alive today if they hadn’t been engaged in naked adult shenanigans in the back of the Sandman and the viewer to ponder whether Emilia (who seemed rather taken with Lucas’s wooing in the back of his van a few weeks back) has a bit of a thing for men with utility vehicles.

Previously on Neighbours…

4 Dec

Radio station protests

Having managed to get PirateNet shut down by Erinsborough Council with her broadcastings of alleged dodgy shopping centre deals (not helped by the devious reporting of the evil and cunning Sir Limpalot) the zombie loving, do-gooding Summer Hoyland offered the council an ultimatum: allow PirateNet to broadcast again or she and her fellow year 12 classmates would miss their English exam. The hard-ass council couldn’t have cared less (me neither) and Summer, having been abandoned by her more sensible classmates and her oddly Aussie/Scottish accented boyfriend Andrew, finally admitted defeat and ambled forlornly to the exam with but minutes to spare.

The worst 18th birthday ever?

Despite having been advised by the loopy, damp dead wife seeing, therapist visiting, pill popping surfer-dude head teacher Michael to stay away from his daughter, the rather attractive beautician/hairdresser Emilia Jovanovic turned up during the middle of Tash’s 18th birthday celebrations, having earlier been wooed by the romantic and smooth chested mechanic Lucas in the back of his van (long story). A reluctant Michael eventually agreed to allow Emilia to stay and all was going surprisingly swimmingly until Tash received a copy of her mum’s death certificate on her swanky new i-phone and discovered that swimming wasn’t one of her mother’s strong points. Turned out the Serbian former beauty queen had drowned trying to save Tash (very sad).

What was that? You’re glad that’s all over? They can finally move on with their lives and forge a stronger father/daughter bond that will last a lifetime? Err… probably not as Michael later met Emilia and told her that Tash must never know the full and dreadful truth about what happened that awful day. What was it? Well judging from a brief moment of supportive hand holding in a non-romantic way that could hint at past hand holding in a romantic way (not an easy thing to convey) the surfer-dude head and the rather attractive beautician/hairdresser may have once been more than just brother and sister-in-law. Then again it could have been just badly acted supportive hand holding in a non-romantic way and mean absolutely nothing.

Waxed chests, body lotion and major misunderstandings

Romance continued to blossom between Lucas and Emilia despite an attempt by Michael to convince him that she couldn’t be trusted. Concerned for her sensitive skinned beloved’s recently waxed chest Emilia brought over a gift wrapped bottle of soothing body lotion. Well, one thing led to another which led, surprisingly, to a line or two for Lou without a Sid James impression, Kate thinking the lotion was from Ark Boy, indignant marching in Little Red Riding Hood outfits to school (don’t ask), the putting of the gift wrapped lotion in Noah’s guitar case, the witnessing of such actions by a once more be-hatted Noah, interpretations of such body lotion giving as a declaration of love and a whole new level of besotted grinning (with a bit of creepy lurking in the kitchen of Harold’s after closing time thrown in for good measure).

Didn’t Kate explain to him about the lotion?” you ask. She did. She also told him she felt nothing, the kiss had been a terrible, terrible mistake, didn’t mean a thing and would he please sod off as nothing was ever going to happen… pretty much everything she’d told him before. “And?” Bit of a communication breakdown I’m afraid. “How so?” Well, he heard something along the lines of “Noah, I love you, this all feels so, so right and when you finish school in a few weeks we shall engage in naked adult/teenage shenanigans together… oh and bring the lotion”. “Oh dear.” Quite. Alas, just as she was about to try and explain things to him again Sophie knocked on the door of Harold’s and asked to be let in. “She’s returned from music camp?” She has, with a new hairdo. “So the damned guitar strumming will resume again?” I suspect so.

And finally…

Minor details for non-watchers to casually mention when blagging their way through a conversation with their tad suspicious Neighbours obsessed boss, colleagues, kids or students:

Cute rat.

Does Chris ever stop eating?

I’d have pelted Callum with the eggs if he’d asked.

Noah and the Wail

20 Nov

Grief induced snogging

Pin Oak Court, Vermont South, the filming loca...

Image via Wikipedia

Poor old Kate Ramsay, the former dancing trainee teacher/assistant in Harold’s Store, was led to the Police Station by Toadie to learn the devastating truth: that the only handsome-in-an-obvious-sort-of-way detective with OCD she’d ever loved, Mark Brennan, had snuffed it. Well, shocked disbelief led, as it so often does, to the devastating grief of the barefooted, vision skewing, sister shouting, late night umm-haha-heee-haha-can-you-guess-what-it-is-yet wall painting, time-lapse-capturing, floppy woolly hatted Ark Boy snogging kind… and a wail of utter disbelief from at least one viewer.

Naturally attempts to explain to the besotted, ever-so-slightly creepy, guitar strumming and no longer be-hatted student that it was all a terrible, terrible mistake, didn’t mean a thing and must never be spoken of again all took place in the most private of places, Harold’s and the corridors of Erinsborough High, and had absolutely no effect whatsoever. The smitten and artistic Noah continued to grin besottedly and rather distractingly at his beloved, causing a perturbed Kate to have a minor flashback-inducing melt down during her uni-examiner-assessed history lesson. I dread to think how she’ll react when she remembers the time-lapse camera.

Sick, well endowed mothers and Council corruption

Kyle the handyman suddenly departed to take care of his cosmetically-enhanced-on-the-cheap, malaria suffering mother (don’t ask) leaving his plain speaking, blonde highlighted and never-referred-to-before cousin Dane Canning to take care of the threatened Dial-a-Kyle business. Hearing a rumour that permission for the shopping centre project had come about as a result of council bribery and corruption (surely not), Dane went straight to the evil, shiver-me-timbers, Erinsborough News owning Long Paul Robinson and the ever-so-annoying Summer Hoyland (who is desperate to put together an exciting report as part of her application for some journalist course as she’s like so bored of the History Wall and hasn’t spotted the time-lapse footage of Kate kissing Noah). Unable to substantiate such bribery rumours and fearing suings, the cunning Darth Paul sat back and allowed the do-gooding Zombie loving Hoyland to break the news on Piratenet (and take any flak from the Council) in the hope that it may scupper the whole shopping centre project. Nice.

Tiaras and tantrums

Michael Williams, the increasingly loopy, insomnia suffering, deceased damp wife seeing, therapist visiting, surfer-dude head teacher of Erinsborough High, finally decided to sit Tash down and tell her the truth. “What?” you cry, “he finally revealed the dark and mysterious, father-daughter relationship shattering secret concerning the death of her former beauty queen mother?” Err…no. He told her he’s seeing a therapist. Yes, you’re quite right, she already knew that. But he didn’t know that she knew that. He also didn’t know that she knew all about her aunty, the rather attractive, conveniently-unreliable-when-the-plot-requires-it-Austin-Healey-Sprite-named-Pearl driving, leaver of early birthday presents on doorsteps with cards signed “E xxx”, Serbian hairdresser/beautician, Emilia Jovanovic. He knows now though (he read the card and unwrapped the prezzy – the tiara of the deceased former beauty queen). Unfortunately such knowings did not lead to reunited brother and sister-in-law type hugs (do they ever?) but to stay-away-from-my-daughter-type-threats and hopefully an end to the therapy as it clearly isn’t working.

And finally…

Minor details which should be casually mentioned by those of you who don’t watch the show but want to blag your way through a conversation with your tad suspicious Neighbours obsessed boss, kids or students:

“And what about Dr K spotting the flirting between the personal trainer and the married Malcolm Kennedy?”

“Barbecue blackmail can never be condoned”

“Susan’s really doing my head in with her husband bashing, wi-fi winging.”

“Wasn’t the flirty mechanic/Serbian beautician chest waxing sweet?”

“Why the hell hasn’t Kate got shot of that rose drawing from Ark Boy?”

“Loved the golf!”

Last week on Neighbours…

13 Nov
Kate Ramsay

Image via Wikipedia

Missed Neighbours last week? Then you missed a new fady-scene-transition-type effect and slow motion tree planting. You also missed…

Forbidden flirting

Mal Kennedy and Jade the personal trainer continued to exchange longing looks and engaged in a bit of flirty football playing while a spurned Kyle the handyman continued to mope.

Reckless revising

Andrew, Robinson, the oddly Aussie/Scottish accented son of Darth Paul, advised mood food expert Chris Pappas to revise for his exams in order to keep his “orptions orpen” (the pie scoffing Chris had decided to concentrate on fixing cars rather than study in the belief that failing his exams would scupper Pappa Pappas’s plans to pack him off to uni).

A heartbroken hubby

Susan and Karl invited Toadie and Sonya over for a roast dinner to break the devastating news that they had decided to separate (again) but reassured them it was all very amicable (Susan still regards Karl as her bestest friend in the whole wide world). Alas, a crushed and heartbroken Dr K, fighting back the tears, later told his deluded wife that he couldn’t bear to live in the same street as her, let alone be her friend.

The continuing saga of the student-trainee teacher crush

Andrew Robinson once more warned his cousin, the former dancing trainee teacher and assistant in Harold’s Store Kate Ramsay, that the guitar strumming floppy woolly hatted Noah was hopelessly besotted with her. The perceptive-as-ever Kate dismissed such claims as ludicrous and then smiled innocently at Ark Boy as he serenaded her with a newly penned tune about his love for a former dancing, trainee teacher and assistant in Harold’s named Kate.

Dark surfer-dude secrets

Tash was whisked off to Charlie’s by her Serbian hairdressing aunty, Emilia Jovanovic, part way through a mock exam (long story) and discovered… brace yourselves… she twiddles her hair like her mum. “What?” you cry, “was that it?” Well no, to be fair she did ask Emilia how her mum had died. And what did her rather attractive Serbian hairdressing aunty tell her? Err… that she should talk to her dad. Rather than quizzing Michael, her increasingly crazy surfer-dude head teacher father (he’s still having visions of his damp and deceased former beauty queen wife and has now started seeing a therapist – a real one, not imaginary), Tash has decided to apply for her mum’s death certificate when she turns 18 in a few weeks time.

Deceased detectives and overly hysterical horticulturists

And finally… Kate decided it was time to sell the motorbike of her former love, Mark Brennan the handsome-in-an-obvious-sort-of-way detective with OCD, who was driven off into the night many months ago by a dodgy Scottish detective as part of a police witness protection programme to live who knows where as who knows who doing who knows what. Such a simple decision would have been fine had it not been for the interference of Toadie and his overemotional mac wearing green fingered beloved Sonya who have known for some time now that Brennan had snuffed it (allegedly). One thing led to another which led to the solemn secret planting of a tree in memory of the deceased detective, an inquisitive Callum, the hysterical blurting of dead detective secrets, a devastated Callum, the return of the dodgy Scottish detective, a self righteous-in-a-you-want-to-give-him-a-good-slap-kind-of-way lawyer, and a decision to end all the misery inducing secrecy by leading the blissfully ignorant and happy Kate to the Police Station to learn the awful misery inducing truth.

Puzzle of the week

How come Toadie and Sonya hadn’t already learned of Karl and Susan’s separation when Summer, Mal, Kate, Paul and Andrew have known for a week or two?

Subtlest plot signposting of the week

Given the number of times a certain time-lapse camera Summer rigged up to film the painting of the History Wall has been ever-so-subtly mentioned of late (what’s that?… a camera… a camera?… yes a camera… do we have to turn it off?… no, it’s filming all the time… all the time?… yes, all the time) I think it’s safe to assume it’ll play some pivotal role in the future.

Neighbours, everybody needs good neighbours…

7 Nov
Neighbours

Image by Squirmelia via Flickr

Dark surfer-dude secrets

Tash “Christine Pappas” Williams, daughter of the increasingly loopy surfer dude head teacher of Erinsborough High, Michael (he’s still experiencing visions of his deceased and rather damp former beauty queen wife, Helena), cunningly quizzed her recently discovered Serbian aunty, Emilia Jovanovic, whilst having her hair done and found out… brace yourselves…. absolutely nothing (sorry). Yet all was not completely lost as the vaguely perceptive hairdresser (she’d twigged Tash wasn’t a model) later noticed that the debit card “Christine Pappas” had used to pay for her services was actually registered in the name of Natasha Williams. One thing presumably led to another which most definitely led to secret observings of long lost nieces from blue 1967 Austin Healey Sprites, the spotting of no longer secret observings from blue 1967 Austin Healey Sprites by long lost nieces and speedy getaways in aforementioned blue 1967 Austin Healey Sprites.

Greek tragedy

Pappa Pappas discovered that his son Chris had arranged to do an apprenticeship at the garage of Lucas the former motor bike racing champion/exhibiting photographer/gambler/mechanic rather than going to uni. Alas, such discoveries did not lead to touching “I’m proud of you son” hugs but to the shouting of recycled angry Greek father dialogue that has been shouted many times before, the cuffing of an ungrateful son’s ear, the punching of Pappa Pappas, attempts to smooth things over, tales of hard working grandpappa Pappases, and a disgruntled Chris who was advised to focus a bit more on his studies by the mechanic in an attempt to keep Pappa Pappas vaguely pacified (hmm, good luck).

Marriages on the rocks

Susan Kennedy returned from Anglesea and casually broke the news during tea that she and Karl had decided to separate. Oh the shock. Oh the horror. Oh gawd, not again. It seems she and Karl both want different things in life. He wants to spend more time alone with his wife, enjoying their new found freedom from pesky teenagers (Summer doesn’t count for some reason). Susan wants to hold the hands of complete strangers in an absolutely non romantic way, fuss over unrelated pesky teenagers and pursue her high powered journalistic career. Mal hasn’t taken the news of his parents’ separation very well and has cancelled his flight to London in order to try and save their marriage ironically putting his own marriage in jeopardy as he’s becoming rather smitten by the alluring jogging and warm-up stretches of Jade the personal trainer.

Shopping centre woes and unrequited love

And finally… The evil hotelier’s cunning plan to scupper the proposed new shopping centre looks like it may have been scuppered by Toadie’s cunning plan to save the proposed new shopping centre. Lou Carpenter, who has a large stake in Kyle the handyman’s business (monetary rather than the wooden, vampire killing/propping trees up kind), is keen to sell up and even Lucas hasn’t ruled it out. This has not gone down well with the aforementioned handyman who turned to the only person who truly understands him, Jade the personal trainer. What’s more, Kyle’s decided that he loves her (yes it was rather sudden). “What luck!” you cry for Jade has been experiencing feelings of lovelorn mopiness for the handyman for months but had settled for secret no-strings-attached-naked-adult-shenanigans with him instead. So did Kyle reveal his feelings to Jade? Well, rather surprisingly he did. Then the personal trainer and the handyman have finally been united in mutual blissful besottedness? Err… no. Jade “I’m afraid to love” Mitchell told a crushed Kyle she did not share such feelings (her soppy lovestruck gazing at handyman flashbacks would suggest otherwise) and is now flirting recklessly with the married Malcolm Kennedy. Exasperating isn’t it?

Highlight of the week: There was absolutely no guitar strumming by sullen sisters or floppy woolly hatted youths whatsoever. Sweet.